Writing to advise - Shawon Notes

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Sample answers

Read the following three sample answers to this question. Which one do you think would get the highest grade?

Answer A

Answer

To the fundraisers in year 10.

We heard you're planning to raise money for the British Red Cross. That's a great idea! We planned a fundraiser when we were in year 10 and thought you might like some advice.

1. An event that works

You need to get as many people as possible to give money, so think about an event that includes the whole school, staff as well, and maybe even the parents.

Last year, we sold sandwiches, pizza and cakes at break time from the school canteen. Lots of people came and bought food, including parents.

You could also think about:

  • a non-uniform day
  • collections in assembly
  • a sponsored event

2. Planning the event

It takes longer than you think to plan an event, so think about doing it next term. If you do a sponsored walk, for example, you'll need to:

  • organise and distribute sponsorship forms
  • allow students long enough to collect sponsors
  • do the walk
  • allow time for the money to be collected

3. Set a target

How many people do you want to involve? How much money do you want to raise? Probably the answer to both these questions is LOADS, but if you're too ambitious it will be harder to organise.

Try to set an amount of money that you want to raise, keep it realistic, only huge organisations such as Comic Relief can raise millions. Then think about how many people you would need to raise £10, for example, for you to reach your target. If you decide to raise £200, then you need 10 people to make £20 each. Is that too hard, or too easy?

4. How to avoid problems

You'll need a detailed list of what needs to be organised. The easiest thing is to appoint one person to be in charge of each section. You need to make sure that you have regular meetings, so everybody knows what's going on. Setting some deadlines would be a good idea because it makes sure everyone gets on with their job. Maybe you could ask a form tutor to sit in on your meetings so that they don't get too out of control.

The main thing is to be ORGANISED.

5. How to avoid money problems

Once you have raised the money, you won't want to lose it! Last year, we asked one of the administrative staff to be in charge of collecting it. You will have to ask nicely! They will need a list of all the people who collected money so they can be crossed off once they have given it in. The school will write a cheque to your charity once all the money is collected.

Good luck with it. We had really good fun last year when we did our cake sale and raised £200!

Form x, year 11.

Answer B

Answer

Dear Year 10,

I thought you would like some help with raising money for the British Red Cross. I think you should make sure you have an event that works such as a sponsored walk or selling food to the staff at break time. I would like a non-uniform day. You can charge people not to wear school uniform, also the teachers have to wear uniform. You should make sure that you set a target for how many people and how much money you want. Also you must avoid problems like people not joining in or people not helping when you have asked them to. You should get your form tutor to help you. Give all the money you raise to the school office, so it doesn't get lost or nicked.

From Form x, year 11

Answer C

Answer

If you want some help with your fundraising, you should read this. We did fundraising last year and here's what we discovered.

You need to plan an event that people will like and be interested in. Maybe a fashion show or a sponsored walk.

It's good to plan the event very well so nothing goes wrong. You should get a committee together and give out the jobs and make sure you have lots of meetings so everyone is working on what they should be doing.

You need to have some targets. This means deciding how much money you want to raise and how many people should be helping out.

To avoid problems, you probably need to get your form tutor to hold a meeting with everyone and get him or her to decide who has what jobs.

Don't let the money you raise get lost, that's very important.

Good luck!

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