Task 1: writing a weekly newspaper opinion piece
Opinion pieces need to entertain. They usually do this by taking an everyday issue that readers will recognise because the comedy is in the recognition. They take extreme positions, exaggerating the difficulty of simple, everyday issues.
There is also comedy in highlighting contrast. For example, an opinion piece may take something ordinary (like queuing in the supermarket) and compare it with something extraordinary (like the process of getting older). So you could join a queue as a healthy young person and emerge from the check-out as a middle-aged man.
The tone of the opinion piece is crucial. You need to be clear that your subject is important to you: your audience will never be interested in your topic unless they believe you are.